A Little Better Than Yesterday

All of us mothers and fathers are living different realities, but there is something that unites us: parenthood. At the end of the day, we have to give our best to be present, even when our legs are already telling us they can’t anymore. Exhaustion comes to everyone either for those who spend the entire day at home with their children and those who leave to face long, demanding days outside. In the end, the result is the same: exhaustion, and the feeling of not knowing exactly what to do to make our child feel loved and cared for, when all we want is a good shower and a warm bed.

Then we hear that voice that's sometimes loud and sometimes barely able to form words calling for us. Asking for attention. Asking to be held. Often, it’s an endless cry, with no apparent reason to us, the adults. In those moments, I confess that I feel like disappearing into a hole and staying there alone for a few minutes, until it all settles.

But I also know that it’s still too early for him to understand the complexity of things, to be able to calm himself down, or to recognize that these are just emotions passing through. And how are we supposed to do that when our own emotions are shaken too? Right?

On days like these, I try to take deep breaths over and over again, so I don’t repeat the permanent mistakes of my childhood moments when a tired adult didn’t have patience with me. In those moments, I remember my therapist’s words about visiting my inner child and calming her, so that I can understand my child’s needs and the importance of soothing him. It’s not easy to stay regulated every day, but it’s so important to try to be the conscious adult and to recognize how much your child needs you. His brain is still developing, and all the emotions built in childhood will carry the memory of that moment when you give love and tenderness despite being overwhelmed with life.

My days are full: household tasks, mental exhaustion, a mind that thinks too much, a body that feels too much. By the end of the day, I am almost always exhausted. Between hard days and motherhood, I keep my head up, understanding that no matter how much we wish otherwise, days will never be perfect.

Little by little, I am learning to face my difficult days and manage stress without guilt. Because we won’t be everything our children need every single day. But we can try to be a little better each day for the children who were entrusted to us in this life.

Even when the traumas of our own stories, on some days, keep us from being who we wish we could be, we still wake up the next day and give the best we can. This is my daily accomplishment: trying to be a little better than yesterday.

I’ve learned that there are no perfect mothers or fathers. There are no perfect children. What exists is effort and effort is the greatest act of love. On hard days, I take a deep breath, let go of guilt, and remind myself: my child does not need an ideal version of me. He needs me present, human, and trying.

And tomorrow, when the sun rises, I will try again. Because this is my daily accomplishment: being a little better than yesterday for them, and for me.